It’s natural to be sad and mopey for a while. Don’t be in denial about how much you’ve been hurt. If you want to be left alone for a little while, let your friends and family know so they can give you space. Just don’t be left alone for too long or you may indulge in your sad feelings.
You may be able to appreciate those special moments in the future, once you’ve gained some perspective, but not now.
Though you shouldn’t obsess over all of the bad times you had, you can conjure a bad moment any time you catch yourself having warm and fuzzy feelings about your ex.
Letting go of your regret is a big step towards forgetting your ex. If you’re obsessing over what could have been or what should have happened instead, you’ll be too wrapped up in the past to think about the future.
Making a list of all the things you love about yourself will also help you develop confidence, which is exactly what you need when you’re going through a break-up.
It may hurt knowing that those were the only things you had left of him, but you should also know that it’s the right thing to do. You will feel a sense of accomplishment after you do this and it will be you first step towards healing. If you really would like to treasure the memories of your relationship and to return to them one day, put them in a box and place it out of your sight – you can put it in storage or leave it at a friend’s house. Just avoid the temptation to open it at all costs.
Don’t think that the mature thing to do is to meet up with your ex for coffee every week or two. This will only cause you more pain. If he really insists that you should try to “be friends,” tell him that this is not an option for you. You can do the “just friends” thing when and if you’re ready, but this can take months, or even years. Stop texting or calling your ex. Even if you thought of something that really reminded you of him, hold off. Though you may want to make him think you could care less if he’s around, avoid any social gatherings or places where he might be for a while. It may be less convenient to avoid him at all costs than to run into him once in a while, but it will be much better for you.
If you really love social media, then block him if you have to. This may not feel like a mature move, but it’s better than spending hours staring longingly at his Facebook page.
If you do have a lot of mutual friends, you can even tell him that you’d prefer it if they didn’t mention him too much around you. Though this may sound like an extreme move, they’ll understand and will make you feel better.
This includes going to your favorite restaurants or favorite hangouts. Do whatever you can to avoid thinking about him, or wishing he was there with you. You’ll eventually be able to go back to doing everything you want to do, but for now, it’s better to find something new to occupy your time. If you and your boyfriend were addicted to a few TV shows together, take a break from them and read a book instead. Of course, you shouldn’t stop doing absolutely everything you loved to do just because it’ll help you forget about your boyfriend. Just work on finding a new routine that doesn’t make you think about him all the time.
If you really need to switch up your environment, go on a short trip or even a mini-vacation. Going to a completely new place that has nothing to do with your boyfriend will help you cut him out of your life.
If you live far away from your family, you can still make more of an effort to be in touch with them. Spend more time making phone calls, Skyping, or sending cards to your relatives for special occasions.
Tell yourself that now that you don’t have to worry about your boyfriend all the time, you have more time to focus on your female friendships. Open up. Talk to your girlfriends about how you’re feeling and let them make you feel better. Just remember to have fun – if you’re spending all of your time with your girlfriends crying about how much you miss your ex-boyfriend, both you and they will grow weary. You can also use this healing time as an opportunity to develop closer bonds with acquaintances. If you’ve always really hit it off with that girl in your English class, then you should invite her for tea or a cup of coffee.
Being in the sun and getting fresh air is guaranteed to make you feel more mentally strong. If you’re talking on the phone with a friend, don’t do it in a dark room. Instead, take your phone outside and go for a walk. You’ll be getting sun and exercise while gabbing.
You may think that it’s too hard, or even impossible, to continue to do the things that used to make you happy. Just fake it until you make it – you’ll see that you’ll get pleasure out of those favorite activities again. If you don’t do the things you love, you’ll forget who you are. Remind yourself that you were a whole person before you met your ex-boyfriend, and now it’s time to pick up the pieces and become whole again.
Not only will you be making your healing process harder, but you may end up inadvertently hurting a new guy who really likes you. You’ll know when you’re ready to date when you meet a new guy and feel exciting to talk to him and get to know him – without thinking about your ex-boyfriend.
