Red-faced Sony executives admit that Sony productions like “The Patriot” and “Charlie’s Angels” only achieved their record grosses as a result of Sony staffers attending them round-the-clock. One worker in the Sony Pictures cafeteria was paid by Sony to see the David Spade vehicle “Joe Dirt” well over 600 times, the executives say.

“It’s all about creating a buzz,” a marketing executive says. “We thought that if we paid our employees to go watch our moves, maybe some real people would buy tickets, too. Hey, if it had worked, everyone would be calling us geniuses now.”

Under attack by Congress for what many believe to be misleading marketing strategies, Sony defiantly defended its practices, saying that filling movie theaters coast-to-coast entirely with paid personnel was “standard operating procedure” in Hollywood.

“Let’s take that Adam Sandler movie ‘Little Nicky,’” the executive says. “It’s well-known in this town that no one went to it except people that the studio paid to see it. And let’s not kid ourselves-no one has ever bought a ticket to a Jennifer Aniston film, including Jennifer Aniston.”

While Hollywood is under increasing pressure to clean up its marketing act, there are indications that old habits die hard. New TV ads for the latest John Travolta release, “Swordfish,” feature the following rave review: “This summer, the password for action is ‘Swordfish!’”

The name of the reviewer? “Tron Javolta.”