“No,” I lied.

I was to catch up with Forbes in Iowa, then fly to New Hampshire and use my 15 minutes to ask the substantive questions that open a window into the soul of a prospective president. I started a list: “Mr. Forbes, you grew up in a house called Timberfield. I was thinking of giving my apartment a name. Do you have any suggestions?”

Caucus night, in a junior high gym in Des Moines, I chatted up some Buchananites. A man in his 50s told me he was not only against gays in the military. He was against gays in the workplace. Later, Buchanan became The Big Story. After spending more than $400 per vote in Iowa, Forbes was fading. He canceled Tuesday’s events in New Hampshire to cut new spots in hopes of bringing the price down to $385 per vote.

But the press office told me I could have my 15 minutes at the Milford Rotary Club on Wednesday. So I used Tuesday night to check out some other campaigns. In a banquet hall, Pat Buchanan mounted the stage to the pounding strains of “We Will Rock You” – sung by Queen’s Freddie Mercury, who died of AIDS. Then there was a coffee for Lamar Alexander at a lawyer’s house where I talked with Ben Wattenberg and David Gergen after Lamar explained his ABCs: “Alexander Beats Clinton.” And his ABCDEFGs: “Alexander Beats Clinton, Dole – and Even Forbes and Gramm.” That actually got a laugh.

That brought me to Wednesday. And the Milford Rotary Club. All hundred of us in the press had to stand outside freezing for two hours because, according to Forbes’s press guy, we had scared the Rotarians. When Forbes arrived, there was this crush on the porch, and I got to know Mary McGrory of The Washington Post far better than I ever dreamed I would. After the event, Forbes got on his bus – with Wattenberg and Gergen. I tried to board, but was pushed off, yelling, “Ben, help me out here!”

So I blew my first big assignment. And though Forbes seems to be slowing, he may have started a trend: the vanity campaign. A rich guy could buy one for his wife. “Happy birthday, honey. You’re running for president!”

“That is so sweet!”

“You’ve got media buys in Iowa and New Hampshire.”

“Oh, honey, that’s great!”

My bet is: Marla Maples in 2000. Now that will be an interview.